Hawaii FilAm finds something in common with Catherine & flies to England for her wedding

by Atty. Emmanuel Samonte Tipon

“Did you receive an invitation to the royal wedding?” inquired an attractive stewardess with whom I was flirting in the galley when I told her this was my fourth trip to England and I was going for the royal wedding. “I haven’t received it yet but I’m going anyway because I have one thing in common with Catherine,” I replied. “What’s that?” she pursued with aroused curiosity. “We’re both commoners.”

There’s a whale of difference between not receiving an invitation and not being invited. In the former you might have an invitation but it’s still in the mail. In the latter, you were considered and passed up. Obama was not invited but the King of Tonga was.

I had no serious plan of going to the royal wedding since I had a trial scheduled for the same day – Friday, April 29. But I half jokingly told the judge Monday that week that I was considering going to the royal wedding if he would postpone the trial set for the 29th. “My client is not ready anyway,” I added for good measure. He smiled and granted continuance. Under immigration rules, continuance is not generally granted except for “good cause”.


Much has been said and much more is better left unsaid about the most popular royal couple in this generation – Prince William and Catherine Middleton (nicknamed “Kate” which she hates, like I hate the nickname “Al”). Will (as he is fondly called), being the eldest son of Prince Charles and Diana Spencer would succeed to the English throne if Queen Elizabeth ever dies (which she has not shown any sign of doing even at age 85) and Charles becomes king and later dies. Will’s popularity is such that a number of people have suggested that Charles abdicate so that Will would be next in line to the throne. These ignoramuses’ suggestion loses sight of the fact that Charles cannot abdicate what he does not have, namely the throne. And if Charles quitclaims his right to the succession, the next in line to the throne would be his brother, not his son Will.

Will and Catherine met in school. Some say that Catherine went to the same school so that she could meet Will. She succeeded. He was mesmerized by her seductive figure in a gossamer outfit. They set up house and lived together for more than 7 years. Neither his grandmother the queen nor his father could do anything to stop this live-in relationship. They had a responsible relationship because they begot no illegitimate child, unlike most couples similarly situated. There is speculation that they cannot have children, thus they have a heavy burden within the next nine months to produce one. Catherine’s father reportedly told her that Will would never marry her. When Will went to Catherine’s father to ask for her hand in marriage, he quietly ate his words. (When I went to ask my current beloved’s father for her hand in marriage, he told me that he did not believe that I would marry his daughter with whom I had had a relationship for more than seven years). There’s something about seven years that makes some men want to legalize a relationship. Seven year itch?

Catherine is much more beautiful in person than in pictures or on television. She radiates an elegant beauty ala Grace Kelly, rather than a dazzling one like Elizabeth Taylor. Almost every square inch of her body has been analyzed from her bosom to her brains. Significantly, none appears to have analyzed her legs. So I will do so. Her legs pale in comparison to Sarah Palin’s.

CATHERINE WILL NOT OBEY WILL?

The traditional marriage vow says “love, honor, and obey.” Will followed tradition. However, Catherine only said “love and honor” but refused to say “obey” leading to speculation that she will be the “big boss” in their household. Voila, the foundation for “Catherine the Great” has been laid.

It has been reported that the couple signed a prenuptial agreement providing that if Catherine divorces or leaves Will, she leaves the children (if any) with him.

I was at Westminster Abbey for the wedding – outside, not inside, since I never received my invitation. The previous evening I reconnoitered the area and found people in 40 degree weather camping in tents to insure a vantage point for viewing the ceremonies. The scene was reminiscent of the tent people camped in Honolulu’s Carlisleville (in Kakaako, Aala Park, Nanakuli, etc.) which the Honorable Mayor Peter Carlisle (whom I financially supported) appears to have done nothing to eradicate even though an international meeting – APEC – will be held in Hawaii pretty soon.  At least in Westminster, the government provided plenty of portable potties for the happy campers. There are none for the unhappy campers in Carlisleville.

When the ceremony started I walked the mile to Buckingham Palace which normally would take about 15 minutes. But there were so many people that one could not walk but only jostle. So, instead of taking the main roads I took the side streets and reached Buckingham long before the Westminster ceremony was over. I was able to position myself where I could see the Buckingham Palace balcony where the expected royal wedding kiss would be made (performed? enacted?). A mini squadron of World War II warplanes flying low alongside Buckingham Palace was the signal for the royal family to appear in the balcony. When the newlyweds appeared, there were thunderous shouts of joy and intense clapping like I had never witnessed before. Everyone was waving a flag, a banner, a handkerchief, anything waveable. People were jumping up and down like on a pogo stick. Cameras were clicking constantly.

The kiss was the highlight of the balcony appearance. After the newlyweds had kissed, the people wanted them to kiss again, chanting “kiss, kiss, one more kiss.” Will asked: “Shall we do it Kate?” She responded with a kiss.

HONEYMOON

There was talk that the couple would not leave Britain immediately for their honeymoon, but might go to Windsor Castle, near Heathrow Airport (England’s premiere international airport) closer than the White House is to Reagan National Airport. I took a bus for Windsor. They were not there. Neither was the queen who usually spends her  week-ends there. But when you have been living in marital bliss without the benefit of marriage for over 7 years, do you really need to have a honeymoon?

BRITAIN NEEDED THIS WEDDING

The British really needed a wedding like this to lift their spirits. They are mired in economic woes, widespread unemployment, a tsunami of new immigrants both legal and illegal, and high gas prices – about $10.62 a gallon.

After the wedding Londoners flocked to the pubs to have a drink. Some places gave the first drink free. The taverns were so full that people were drinking in the streets.

They had a 4-day bank holiday. People who were made to work were paid double. A tourist welcomer at the airport wished there would be a royal wedding everyday. Visitors arriving within 24 hours of the wedding were given the red carpet treatment and invited to sign the Royal Guestbook that would be presented to the royal couple. I wrote: “To Catherine. From one commoner to another, may you and I succeed in achieving our noble goals. God bless you and William.”

Everywhere I went, there were Filipinos – in London and in the countryside like Windsor Castle, Oxford, and even at Stonehenge. I had pictures with some of them and tape recorded interviews with them which I will play on my radio show at KNDI. They were all happy and employed. They did not seem to mind the cold and damp weather. Discrimination? They did not feel targeted.  “Have you thought of immigrating to America?” I asked. “No thanks,” was their unanimous reply.


(Atty. Tipon has a Master of Laws degree from Yale Law School and a Bachelor of Laws degree from the University of the Philippines. Office: 800 Bethel St., Suite 402, Honolulu, HI 96813. Tel. (808) 225-2645. E-Mail: filamlaw@yahoo.com. Websites: www.MilitaryandCriminalLaw.com, and www.ImmigrationServicesUSA.com. Listen to the most witty, interesting, and informative radio program in Hawaii on KNDI at 1270, AM dial every Thursday at 7:30 a.m., rebroadcast at  www.iluko.com.)