When was the last time you had sexual relations with your spouse?

by Atty. Emmanuel Samonte Tipon

Shame upon the Obama administration’s Department of Homeland Security. Shame! Shame! Shame! Its officers should not be asking married couples seeking adjustment of status such questions as “When was the last time you had sexual relations with your spouse?”  This question has been asked in more than one case and by different DHS adjudicators – one of whom was a Filipina.
   
People might laugh but we are not making this up.  This point is specifically addressed in a written decision by the USCIS in Honolulu which denied a couple’s adjustment of status application because their answers did not jibe as to when was the last time they had sexual relations with each other. We read the decision when we arrived in Honolulu after attending the Republican convention. Indeed we were given a copy.

Not even under the administration of the amorous President Bill Clinton did immigration adjudicators ask such explicit sex questions.  We will not call him lecherous like Henry the VIII because we like Clinton. Whatever might have been his frailties, they are pardonable when one considers the good things he did.  We have at least two things in common with Clinton  – one, we both went to Yale Law School; and the other I will not tell lest my beloved reads this.

In the good old days, immigration adjudicators would discreetly ask “Was your marriage consummated?” In one such case, a middle aged spinster-like adjudicator in San Francisco asked an elderly couple if their marriage was consummated. The Ilocano husband asked his lawyer: “Anya ti cayat na nga saoen ti consummated?” (What does consummated mean). “Nag yala cayo?” (Did you have sexual intercourse), whispered the lawyer. “Oh yes, ma’am, we have consummation every night,” bragged the old man. “Sir, you can only consummate a marriage once,” the adjudicator pointed out. “I don’t know about you ma’am but my wife and I consummate every night,” the old man persisted. The lawyer nudged the old man and advised him to “shut up”. The alien spouse’s application for adjustment of status was granted.

These days, a number of immigration adjudicators no longer have a sense of delicacy. “No hay delicadeza,” as they say in Spanish. Their questions about sexual intercourse can only be appreciated by those with prurient interests. Assuming that the couple had similar answers to the question when was the last time they had sexual relations, the adjudicator would probably have asked what time of day or night?

The spouses blamed each other for their failure to have similar answers to the question when was the last time they had sexual relations. Their lawyer specifically told them as they rode the elevator to go to their interview that the adjudicator will ask that question. They laughed and replied that of course they would know how to answer it. Probably, their last encounter was not unforgettable that is why they forgot when was the last time.

One adjudicator apologetically said that their superiors had recently issued a policy directive regarding the meticulous processing of adjustment of status applications by married couples. She read it but did not read that part, if any, regarding the asking of explicit sex questions.

What can be done about this? This afternoon we met with two Caucasian attorneys regarding this matter. One of them suggested that the immigration lawyers in Hawaii get together and bring up this issue with the adjudicators’ big boss in Honolulu. The other suggested that a motion to reconsider and to reopen be filed. Unfortunately that would entail more expenses for the couple in the form of attorney’s fees and filing fees. And there is little likelihood that USCIS would reconsider or reopen the case. No one wants to admit a mistake in rendering a decision. But then, who knows? If USCIS denies the motion, its next step will be to place the alien spouse in removal proceedings. More emotional distress, trauma, anxiety, and expenses for the couple – all because their answers did not jibe with regard to the explicit question. The couple’s attorney is filing a Freedom of Information Act request for a copy of all DHS policy directives, memoranda, and other material relating to the adjudication of adjustment of status applications.

The best remedy to stop this abuse of power and discretion is to boot out the Obama administration and the SOBs (sycophants of Barack) from top to bottom, since the policy directive, after all, came from above. Let us go back to the good old days when people acted considering the “delicadeza de la situacion”.  But why blame Obama? Haven’t you heard of the doctrine of “command responsibility” stupid? He claims credit for all the good things that have happened in America, so why should he not be blamed for all the bad things that have happened in America.


(Atty. Tipon has a Master of Laws degree from Yale Law School and a Bachelor of Laws degree from the University of the Philippines. He specializes in immigration law and criminal defense. Office: 800 Bethel St., Suite 402, Honolulu, HI 96813. Tel. (808) 225-2645. E-Mail: filamlaw@yahoo.com. Websites:  www.MilitaryandCriminalLaw.com; www.ImmigrationServicesUSA.com. He is from Laoag City and Magsingal, Ilocos Sur. He served as an Immigration Officer. He is co-author of “Immigration Law Service, 1st ed.,” an 8-volume practice guide for immigration officers and lawyers. Listen to the most funny, interesting, and useful radio program in Hawaii on KNDI at 1270, AM dial every Thursday at 7:30 a.m., rebroadcast at www.iluko.com. This article is a general overview of the subject matter discussed and is not intended as legal advice. No warranty is made by the writer or publisher as to its completeness or correctness at the time of publication. No attorney-client relationship is established between the writer and readers relying upon and/or acting pursuant to the contents of this article.)