No romance in Paradise - what now, my love?

by Atty. Emmanuel Samonte Tipon 

The aging Lothario from Hawaii put his hand on his young bride’s inner thigh. “Not now, my love, we will do it in Hawaii, I heard it is a very romantic place,” the bride whispered as he squeezed her husband’s hand and pushed it away. Not wanting to appear pushy, he did not insist. He rushed back to the U.S., petitioned for his wife, and it was approved.

Upon arrival, the wife said that she wanted to go to WalMart. The old man readily agreed. At least it was not Macy’s or Neiman Marcus. She bought a sleeping bag. “Why, we have a bed?” the husband asked. “You’ll see,” she replied with a wink. After dinner, she put on a pair of tight jeans, laid down the sleeping bag, went inside, and zipped herself in. The husband was left out of the bag. He asked her to fulfill her promise. She replied that she was tired. This went on for several nights. Tired, sleepy, dizzy, jet lag. Frustrated, the old man went to a consultant who advised him “Divorce her. Deport her.”

This is not a rare instance. There was a WW II veteran who was induced by a fellow church member to marry her daughter. He did, petitioned for her, and when the daughter arrived in Hawaii, he went to stay in her mother’s apartment rather than her husband’s. She complained that he had threatened her if she did not have sexual relations. The old man sheepishly told a consultant that he had been had. He filed a pro se divorce.

Elderly men are not the only victims of unscrupulous women. The latest incident that I heard involved a guy in his late 20’s. His wife put a pillow between them when they slept. Unlike the ardent lover who bragged “I’ll climb the highest mountain to be with you,” this guy could not climb the lowest pillow. Like the other folks, the marriage has not been consummated. His wife reportedly objected that he snores. Snores when making love? How boring? How about making love first and then sleep in separate bedrooms?

CONCOCTING FALSE CHARGES

So, what now? Or as they ask in Ilocandia “Ana ngaruden?” The greatest danger from this situation is that the alien woman, in a desperate bid to remain in the U.S., might concoct false charges that the man sexually assaulted her or battered her. She will then get a restraining order and worse file criminal charges. This has happened on a number of occasions. The men were forced to defend themselves. They won, but only after spending thousands of dollars. Thereafter, they spent more money for a divorce.

As for deporting the women, although refusal to have sex may result in deportation, on the theory that there was no real marriage, immigration authorities appear reluctant to deport such women. The victim should first report the matter to Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE), with supporting evidence that the woman committed marriage fraud. The victim will be lucky if they will answer. Thereafter report ICE’s failure to act to the Secretary of Homeland Security, copy furnished the U.S. Senator. A minor official will probably answer, saying that the matter is under investigation but that they cannot tell you anything more because the matter is confidential. Confidential, my you know what? How can they treat it as confidential with respect to you since your testimony will be vital in deporting the woman? It is best to get a lawyer who can present a deportable case.

PREVENTION IS BETTER THAN CURE

As I have always said in my radio program, do not buy a car unless you test drive it first. You have to get the feel of it. The same applies to marriage.

The old adage remains valid and effective: “Marry in haste, repent at leisure.” There is no such thing as “Love at first sight.” You must always take a second look, nay a thousand looks.  Before marrying, spend at least a year getting to know your intended. Go on dates, travel around the country, and do things that lovers do. Avoid marrying ladies of the evening or women you meet at bars. If you want innocent virgins, go to the remote towns of Ilocoslovakia. And, for goodness sake, consummate the marriage abroad, even though it may not be as romantic as Hawaii. I have heard men brag that they “consummated” first before marrying. Hooray for them.
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(Atty. Tipon has a Master of Laws degree from Yale Law School and a Bachelor of Laws degree from the University of the Philippines. He specializes in immigration law and criminal defense. Office: 800 Bethel St., Suite 402, Honolulu, HI 96813. Tel. (808) 225-2645. E-Mail: filamlaw@yahoo.com. Websites: www.MilitaryandCriminalLaw.com, and www.ImmigrationServicesUSA.com. He is from Laoag City and Magsingal, Ilocos Sur. He served as an Immigration Officer. He is co-author of “Immigration Law Service, 1st ed.,” an 8-volume practice guide for immigration officers and lawyers. Listen to the most witty, interesting, and informative radio program in Hawaii on KNDI at 1270, AM dial every Thursday at 7:30 a.m., rebroadcast at  www.iluko.com. This article is a general overview of the subject matter discussed and is not intended as legal advice. No warranty is made by the writer or publisher as to its completeness or correctness at the time of publication.)